How I chose my moniker

I get asked how I came up with the name "Paloma Peacenik." Here was my thinking ... I figured for some gentlemen, it could be wildly intimidating to call a companion. Really nerve-racking, sweat-inducing, voice-quivering. It wouldn't happen for everyone but certainly for a significant portion of gentlemen, they would be nervous making that call. So I chose the most soothing, calming, unintimidating name I could think of. Paloma means "dove" in Spanish and peacenik means "pacifist." It wasn't my intention to imply "make love, not war" but that inadvertently got thrown into the mix as well. It just naturally fits my personality. And now you know ...

How to Reinvent Yourself

I don't normally just post a link to another author's blog entry but today, I'm making an exception. I'm sending you to read "The Ultimate Cheat Sheet For Reinventing Yourself." If the advice in this article can't help you, maybe it could help someone you know.

Where can I plug in my car?

Sure, gas stations are everywhere but what if you've decided to go green? The thought of making a long drive in an non-hybrid EV can seem a bit dicey - what if you run out of juice? (This exact problem faced a friend recently so it's been on my mind ...) Problem solved: Plugshare.com. It's a database of EV charging stations and there's a whole lot more of them than I realized. And yup, PlugShare makes an app.

Now let's stop a moment and collectively drool over that sleek Tesla Roadster.

Tampa Revisited

A number of people have asked me, "When are you going to post your review of Tampa?" Tampa is the new book I wrote about earlier this summer here.

Now, I want to preface this by saying that I had read numerous reviews of the book prior to buying a copy and had become almost afraid that reading it was going to permanently scar me psychologically.

I can laugh about this now, as nothing is further from the truth.

For the first ten pages or so, I would read a couple of paragraphs, stop, go back and have to re-read them to confirm that I had, in fact, just read what I thought. Why? Because this book goes from zero to smutty in a blink - right from the first sentence. And by smutty, I mean sexually frank and confessional.

I was attracted to the book in the first place really just out of curiosity - hoping to read about a sexually-carnivorous character. The book felt a bit like a character study. Tight prose and plot, no superfluous scenes, a bit of humor here or there and a very, very quick read. We learn little else about the life of the pedophile (aka Celeste Price) but delve into her mind - her one-tracked mind focused on pre-pubescent boys.

And while I consider a person's pursuit of sex a matter of empowerment and remaining grounded with nature, Celeste is different. Not only because of her preference for kids, but her completely selfish, ruthless, predatory actions.

I feared there would be pages and pages of graphic sex scenes that would make my stomach turn. But I skipped just a page or two at one particular point - because I really just didn't want to know what she was doing to that kid.

To conclude, I was interested in reading a sexually-carnivorous tale but instead found a sexually-predatory one. It made me cringe, feel even more protective of kids, disgusted with the main character but not scarred for having read it.

As I said in my earlier post, I applaud the bravado of the author for writing about such a volatile topic. And do I recommend the book? Absolutely, yes. It's unlike ANYTHING I've ever read before.

Dig it Vegas

I haven't been to Vegas for a year or two but next time I go - I'm doing this. It's a construction site amusement park - where you can drive around in huge machinery - a bulldozer or excavator and just feel powerful. OMG - where are my car keys ... http://www.digthisvegas.com/

Hair Fetish Revisited

I confess I've been a bit overwhelmed by the response to my earlier post about getting a call from a hair fetishist. I've received several emails from hair fetishists kindly trying to answer some of the questions I posed in my post.

One of my readers eloquently explained his fetish this way .... (names have been changed for privacy.)

"For a few of us, the sight, touch, smell and movement of a woman's hair is the strongest of all sexual cues. In my case, all of the following is true:

1. As early as 5 years old (!) I rode my trike over to Lisa N's house, a fellow five year old, and asked her if she would pin me to the ground and tickle me with her hair. It was all innocent . . . but the crazy desire is that old. Never happened with young Lisa. Just a quizzical "what?!" from her.

2. I was FASCINATED, even before I could read, with the Breck Girls advertisements in Mom's Good Housekeeping magazines from the late 60's and early 70's. Blondes mostly.

3. First thing I look at in a woman, is her hair. Before her face, body, dress, demeanour. It's about her hair. The thickness, curl, texture, length, how it lands on her shoulders or her back. If she has highlighted it, I look at the different strands, the way it reflects light, the way it moves, hangs; all of it is captivating.

4. Watching porn, lots of it is good, but the best scenes are honestly, accidental, when the hair flips a certain way, or if she's riding her man and there is that tousled care free natural movement, then it's really hot.

5. Money shots into a girls hair, yeah that's hot, and I have wanted to do that, but it's not the end all. It's more about being with an uninhibited woman who, for lack of a better phrase, is willing to let her hair down and would appreciate rocking her partner's world and have a good time with it.

6. One woman that kind of understood it commented that hundreds and hundreds of strands on a man's skin would certainly cause a lot of sensory stimulation, but she again failed to comprehend the power. She's right about how good it feels. But she's still missing the point that it is very feminine, very submissive. And for a few of us, it's a grand slam. Writing about this is dizzying.

7. Fetish porn is hit and miss. Some "hair job" videos are hot. Would love to have that happen. Have not wanted my feet washed with a woman's hair like in the Bible. We all know they were freaky back then too though.

WAY MORE than you wanted to know? Thank you for inspiring me to articulate this."

And thank you for having the courage to share your thoughts. We learn from each other.

My Secret Summer Reading

I've read two books that I later regretted picking up. "The End of Faith" by Sam Harris and "The Painted Bird" by Jerzy Kosinski. Not because they were poorly written or constructed, but because each described too-graphic-for-me scenes of torture and murder.

I try to keep myself happy by maintaining a safe distance from disturbing ideas, toxic personalities and, on the opposite end of the spectrum, malaise caused by banality. And I feel like I do a pretty darn good job of hovering somewhere between these two extremes.

Yet for better or worse, I also have a rather robust intellectual curiosity - especially about psycho-pathology - and that sometimes usurps my common sense and my desire to keep ugly images out of my head. And I can tell you already that this week, I'm gonna fall straight down that literary rabbit hole again. Ouch.

Today is the official release date of the book, "Tampa" by Alissa Nutting. It's the story of a drop dead gorgeous, female 20-something school teacher/pedophile. A woman who lusts for 13 year old boys and acts almost exclusively to fulfill her twisted desires.

I've been reading pre-release reviews of the book. I first heard of it from this salon.com article, Why Stories of Female Sexual Predators Shock Us.

"Tampa" is being compared to "Lolita" and "American Psycho" except reviewers are generally concluding that "Tampa" is darker, more disturbing, wholly offensive, and on and on. Celeste Price - the main character - is described as a monster. It's a car wreck I can't turn away from. I'm intrigued by the notion of a female sexual predator - because that's just so rare a reality. And I really, really appreciate the literary bravery of Tampa's author, Allissa Nutting so I'm happy to contribute to her coffers.

I'll read it this week, with my trepidation, my inevitable disgust, and my morbid curiosity all bubbling around in a stew. Thank god for e-books and kindles - to hide our reading secrets. Depending upon how I digest the book, a review may just be following.....

Happy Father's Day!

This gets me choked up everytime. Like Harry Chapin's "Cat's in the Cradle." I'm a sentimental fool.

Life with Dad

author unknown

Age 4 - My Daddy can do anything!
Age 7 - My Daddy knows a lot, a whole lot.
Age 8 - Dad doesn't quite know everything.
Age 12 - Oh well, naturally Dad doesn't quite understand.
Age 14 - Father? Hopelessly old fashioned.
Age 21 - Oh man, Dad is hopelessly out of date!
Age 25 - He comes up with a good idea, now and then.
Age 30 - Let's find out what Dad thinks about it.
Age 35 - A little patience ... must get Dad's input first.
Age 50 - What would Dad have thought about it?
Age 60 - I wish I could talk it over with Dad once more.

Hysterical Literature

It is with great wonder that I introduce you to the videos of American blogger/photographer Clayton Cubbitt. Short clips of beautiful women reading literature out loud.  I was introduced to this artist's work by a friend, really as a tantalizing alternative to porn. Now you're wondering - how can videos of a fully-clothed woman sitting alone at a desk and reading out loud satisfy like porn? Well my sweet pet - each woman is reading while being brought to orgasm by unseen forces beneath the table. The results are pretty steamy-sexy as her hands remain in view the entire time. I'm dying to see what was going on under the desk, but alas I never will. Cubbitt's entitled his collection "Hysterical Literature" and the results are captivating. Visit his website for more.

The Ever-Elusive Hair Fetishist

I was waiting to meet a friend outside Divebar in Newport Beach. The phone rings.

Paloma: Hello?

Hair Fetishist: Good afternoon. Is this Paloma?

Paloma: Yes. How may I help you?

Hair Fetishist: Do you have blond hair?

Paloma: Yes

Hair Fetishist: Is it long and flowing down your back?

Paloma: Yes - why are you asking questions about my hair?

Hair Fetishist: Do you cater to fetishes?

Paloma: What did you have in mind?

Hair Fetishist: I have a hair fetish.

My eyes grew wide. I gasped. I hope he didn't notice. Could it be? Was this the mythical, enigmatic creature whispered about in certain socially-adventurous circles?
"I have a hair fetish." His calm, matter-of-fact admission was both shocking and wondrous to me. As fantastical as a Yeti sauntering across PCH or an ostrich suddenly plopping down on the hood of my car. Really, really out there! Not necessarily because I found it too strange or unsavory - just really RARE. A very, very rare experience for me - quite literally once in a lifetime. And coming from a girl who likes to collect rare experiences and memories, that is saying something! I mean foot fetishists are common but still typically closeted, and plushies are the fetish group currently enduring examination/teasing in pop culture, but a hair fetishist? Honestly, I'm still kinda reeling from it. wow

And I suddenly had a thousand questions for him - None of which I could utter as that would be exceedingly impolite.

How old were you when you first became interested in hair?
What hair color and styles turn you on?
Do you frequent online hair fetish forums?
If so - which ones? (I wanna read!)
Does length matter? hehe
What kind of porn do you like?

And I suppose the grandaddy of all my questions would be *GULP* What exactly do you like to do with hair?

And more and more questions I had. And just as quickly as we spoke, he was gone. The phone line went dead. He exited from my world less than a minute after arriving in it. Because it turns out he was even rarer than I thought. Not only was he of the very rare species of fetishists - but he was in the sub-category of call masturbators. A stroke-on-the-phone hair fetishist. And that, my friends, is a very, very rare and elusive bird indeed ....

The Dominatrix at the Gym

My gym buddies want to try a domination-style fitness class - where a sexy dominatrix runs the class, demanding obedience and compliance. It sounds like hilarious fun and I'm up for it, at least once. I know these were hot-for-a-minute a few years back, but I haven't heard of any classes recently. If you know of a class in OC or LA that's still active, please email me at paloma@hushmail.com with details. Thanks!

The Surprising Origins of the Vibrator

A while back, I promised myself that I'd see the Maggie Gyllenhall movie "Hysteria" - and I finally did last week. The film is set in 1880's Victorian Britain and follows a young MD as he takes a new position in a medical practice devoted to the treatment of "lady problems" - frigidity, anxiousness and hysteria - hence the movie's title. Without giving too much away, the doctor and his compatriots - almost out of sheer necessity - develop the first electric vibrator. Perhaps it's my gallows humor or my general comfort with topics related to sex, but I thought the movie was fantastic; I dare to say even "hysterical" at moments. The film is apparently historically-accurate but was available in limited-release only and unfortunately, did not make alot at the box office. Pity. It's available on-demand on cable and if you're looking for a cheeky, light-hearted rom-com about female genital manipulation (and truthfully, aren't we all?) this baby fits the bill. I recommend it especially for the frigid, the lusty, the sexually-curious and history buffs. Two vibes straight up!