Crush Pad - I can't stop loving you

I've stumbled upon one of the most accommodating wineries I've ever heard of, planted right in the heart of Portrero Hill in San Francisco. Crush Pad Wine is a do-it-yourself winery where you can learn to make wine. They have all the equipment and will help the wine-making newbie through the entire process - all the way down to designing the label for your bottle. 50 vineyards, 14 varietals, 25 cases of your own wine. 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky. Crush Pad Wine

Drinking Up Vagueness

A Singapore company, called Out of the Box, produces a line of beverages called "Anything" and "Whatever." It seems the drinks' developer started noticing repeated mild recklessness in his friends and colleagues when he would offer them a drink. They'd respond with "Whatever" or "Anything." (Some folks may call that being an accommodating guest but let's pretend otherwise :) Well, that enterprising host decided to capitalize on people's exact words - kinda like that old Brady Bunch episode - "Now Marcia - Were those your EXACT words?" So he started a beverage line and packages all the different drinks into generic cans - so you don't know what you're drinking 'til it hits your tongue. Your only choice is bubbly (Anything) or flat (Whatever). They're all non-alcoholic but things could get more interesting with a third beverage line named "I need a stiff one." Their website is here. Bottoms up!

Body Moving, Body Grooving - Long

I saw a "60 Minutes" story about the particle accelerator in Europe, and noticed the wide-eyed, twitchy excitement of one of the project's scientists - when he was asked if he thought the project's research could possibly lead to the development of teleporting technology. Since then, I've been thinking about human transportation ALOT as in "Beam me up, Scotty" and, for better or worse, I've really only come up with questions. *sigh*

Where would the first teleport stages be installed? In hospitals? For emergency service professionals to get to accident sites? In the seats of national governments for heads of state? At the UN?

And what about country boundaries anyway? Would you still have to go through immigration first if you're porting to another country? Would we even need country boundaries if teleporting becomes freely available? I don't recall countries in Star Trek - in the teeny bit of Star Trek episodes I've watched - they were interested in entire planets. (I'm not even gonna touch inter-planetary porting ....)

And would teleporting become the new "space-shuttle ride" - only for the super rich adventurer? And as it becomes slightly more common, will an anxious stud take his date teleporting to impress her?

And what if repeated teleporting over time is bad for you - like too much sun? Will one day snooty babes whisper behind each others' backs - saying "Oooo - I think she's TP'd too much - it's starting to show" - like too much plastic surgery or drug use? Will there be permanent irreversible damage to the body from teleporting - something like - oh I don't know - subtle decay each time you do it? Ick.

And what about the possibility of instantaneous teleporting? What about being able to just push a button to get somewhere else?

What does this mean for thrill-seekers or fans of the game "chicken"? Someone could jump off a building or out of a plane sans-parachute and then teleport just before they crash. I suppose that would be another form of natural selection. Quick reflexes = ability to get out of bad situations FAST. And certainly, one could say that even having the thought to play "chicken" could be a natural selection factor. ;-)

And when it's still a fairly new technology, would there be TP amusement park rides that promise to both scare-the-crap-out-of-you but ultimately save you as the rider? You could be teleported to safety right before the point of impact? Think a moment about the guy who's job it is to hit the "transport riders now" button. I hope he's always happy and benevolent.

And what about being able to teleport based upon where another person is? What if you could say - "I want to teleport to where my friend Joe, the plumber is?" (couldn't resist - hehe) And what if your friend Joe doesn't want you to find him or have you near him at that moment? What if a person doesn't want to be found or caught in a compromising position? Are there going to be restraining orders or privacy laws in the future saying you can't teleport within 500 feet of another person if they don't want you to?

And what if people are, in the future, routinely GPS/micro-chipped and you can't find you child? Could you say "I want to teleport to my child - chip number 123456-69696?"

And I suppose we'd all get better at latitude and longitude if you have to punch in exactly where you want to go. Just saying "Send me to Paris" might not cut it. I mean Paris is a big, beautiful city but I'm sure there are parts I wouldn't want to go to.

And what about being able to instantaneously flee the scene of a crime? That could be social chaos.

And what if you could say "I want to be transported to the single place on earth that looks most like the landscape that I'm visualizing in my mind at this moment." Then you could see a picture and teleport right to that location. Cool.

And what if you saw a picture of a living person you've never met before, but you wanted to meet them - so you said "Teleport me to where that person is right now." Big problems for anyone that has groupies or a stalker.

And when you do teleport - do your clothes and personal items teleport with you or conversely, do you end up naked in a foreign country with no ID? Ouch.

And I suppose a new industry of impenetrable materials would develop. At least some buildings would need to be built of materials that you can't teleport through.

And how does the possibility of virtual reality affect the necessity for human teleporting anyway? Maybe it's more important to think about resource teleporting instead of people-porting?

Damn - I sound like Andy Rooney. I'm going to bed.

Women in Film

Kudos goes to the person who can watch this vid without once hitting the pause button. Enjoy!

When a coma doubles your troubles

Well, I'm not so inclined to yammer on this morning about something as frivolous and trite as crisp white linen or a breezy ocean boat ride. Don't get me wrong. My week's been exceptional and I feel as vivacious as ever, but something dark has piqued my interest. It's an online offering blending technology and man's ego - as it crashes into his postponed declarations, fears, and regrets.

Dead man's switch is a free service that stores encrypted email messages to be sent after your final demise. Basically, you pen your final thoughts in emails and submit them for encryption and online storage. Then, you're expected to check in with the DMS service online, at pre-determined intervals, to confirm that you are, in fact, still alive. If, after a few reminder emails, you remain unresponsive - your emails get sent. WHOA. Beautifully poignant if you're part of the "I-both-live-and-love-via-email" tribe or just downright dangerous, if you choose to throw daggers from your grave. What's that old joke? "Don't carry grudges. They're heavy and don't have handles." Dead Man's Switch.

Am I registered to vote?

Am I registered to vote? You bet your sweet-candy liberty I am! But just to be doubly sure, you can surf over to voteforchange.com to verify your voter registration. At the site, you can register to vote, determine if you're already registered to vote, request an absentee ballot, and, as the election draws closer, find your polling place. You'll be asked for your first and last name, your email address and then "Are you registered to vote?" The options given are yes, no or not sure. If you chose "not sure," you'll be asked for your address. A click or two later, you know if you're registered. FANTASTIC!

Oh Sealand, I barely know thee

There's a tiny principality off the south eastern coast of England called Sealand and it's offering titles for sale ....... titles as in nobility ...... as in "Lord" or "Baroness." It turns out that Sealand, established in 1967, covers about an acre in area and claims dominion over a floating pontoon base, which is the entirety of this micronation. It has a prime minister, a flag, a national anthem, currency, issues stamps and passports (over 150,000 passports to date - WOW!), and has suffered from treasonous citizens and forcible takeovers. (*sigh* - Isn't that the way of the world?) It's legal status isn't generally internationally-recognized but don't let that stop you from gaining a title there. They're selling them on the net and you can snap one up for less than $36. You can buy a title here and read more about Sealand here and at their official website here.

Google releases new browser

This week, Google released it's open source browser in beta named Chrome. I haven't had a chance to check it out but here's a brief walk-through of it's features and a tip or two about installing it.



Cool goodies include malware alerts and incognito browsing - which, when activated, does not save your browsing history in the "sites visited" list. Chrome can be downloaded here. Enjoy!

Best Bouncers in the World

In 1999, the trampoline was added to the gymnastics competition in the Olympic games. I can't say that I've been following the Beijing Olympics closely or that I even turn my TV on very often, but I'm definitely enamoured with trampolines. :)

Here's a slo-mo video of the men's competition. (I couldn't find any footage of the 2008 Beijing women's competition - *sigh*)



And a compilation of various trampoline competitions. (Warning - this video has music.)


I know fun when I see it and this frankly ROCKS! Weeeeeeeeeee! :)

The dog-cloning dominatrix?

My first advert on the net was a breezy, whimsical story about cloning my dog. It received mostly positive interest with just 2 emails saying "I think dog-cloning is outrageous. You should be ashamed of yourself!" giggle (You can read the original story here.)

This week, another dog-cloner was ID'ed as possibly being the former captor to an imprisoned Mormon missionary she held for her dominatrix-esque desires. Her pix with her 5 cloned pit bull puppies drew the attention of the Utah filmmaker who had made a documentary about the 1970's case that has remained unsolved - perhaps until now. In reference to the suspected kidnapper's feelings for her sex slave she said: "I loved him so much," she told a judge, "that I would ski naked down Mount Everest in the nude with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to." You can read the entire article here.

A Peek Inside: Roleplay (long)

Role-playing is pretty much a guaranteed good time. Scenarios run from the simple to the whimsically elaborate.

Simple would be: You're Wonder Woman. I'm Superman. GO!

Below is a much more elaborate seed for a role-play. The author - an accomplished, creative gentleman I admire immensely - has enthusiastically agreed to allow me to post this. I think it's star-ship fantastic - perhaps even more so because I know the author and am familiar with his sense of humor and sensibilities. It does nicely illustrate that, in these matters, one is really only limited by the scope of the imagination. (Some fantasy details have been tweaked to protect the innocent. :-)

The text of his letter to me follows below.
-------------------
You, Pricilla Goldbergerstein, a vivacious blond known to your many friends and fans as "Prissy", are a judge on the hit TV reality show "America's Got Talent." I'm a contestant. After making it through the first elimination round and being in the running for the finals to be held in Vegas, we happen to run into each other at City Hall, an upscale steakhouse in Phoenix. You live in Los Angeles and are in Phoenix for a celebrity appearance. I live in Phoenix. You're planning on having dinner. I'm dining on the the little wieners in sweet sauce.

My act in the "America's Got Talent" competition is that of an exotic male dancer (a la Chippendale's), an unusual act for the show, since most contestants are singers, dancers, jugglers, ventriloquists, munchausened miscreant knife throwers, dog handlers or tuba-playing transgendered teenagers. But of course, I don't take all my clothes off in the competition the way I do when I work the weekends at the Olympic Gardens strip club in Vegas. Yes, I have a big one, hence my stage name, "Mucho Gigante Geoffrey", or "MGG Money" to my friends.

Although the audience loved me in the early rounds, I'm a long shot to get to the finals in Vegas and I know it. I really need to get there because I desperately need the career boost and the money, and I'm horribly deficient in self-esteem, and I may lose custody of my kids in my divorce if I don't soon go mainstream with my dancing. (I also salsa dance but no one cares to see that *wink*.....even if I'm doing some Shakira and "her hips don't lie as she's startin' to feel me babe.")

So I just need to get to the finals.....I don't need to win. And of course, as a male dancer, I'm not real popular with the two male judges, so I need your vote.

Anyway, you're a former "Mouseketeer" and soap star who is one of "America's Sweethearts" and you have a squeaky-clean G-rated celebrity image (not to be confused with the Spot, a place as yet undiscovered in your body.) You're very attracted to me and, as I am attempting to seduce you, you realize the power you have to make me please you in any way you demand. Power corrupts and power corrupts Prissy absolutely.

I'm quite experienced in sensing what women want. I know you're complicated and have celebrity-induced insecurities and that you need to feel and act dominant, but in some respects, you also need to be subservient.....perhaps treated a little roughly and talked to with (just a little) dirty talk.

So you agree to dine with me and I come on to you, offering a private dance performance and more. But you think of Paula Abdul with that young male contestant on "Idol" and you start to pull back. You think of your marriage to your high school sweetheart, your two teenage daughters and what it would do to them, as well as your image, if we are discovered.

But then you realize you can have any fantasy you want fulfilled by me and it's brand new and so overwhelming. You sense I know how to please a woman and you become quite vocal on what you would want because Prissy is NOT taking this kind of risk for a MEDIOCRE erotic experience.

(Secretly, and unknown to me, you have a kinky side. For instance, you often masturbate in the guest bathroom of your own house during your many dinner parties and then (in your afterglow) you flirt unmercifully with both your male and female dinner guests.....even to the point of touching them casually with the same un-washed hand that was just in your most private parts.)

We continue to dine and talk and you are so turned on but desperately trying to remain in control. You are just full of the notion that for once, Prissy will be the one to tell a guy exactly what she needs and to demand total subservience from him. For maybe the last time in your life, you have an opportunity to explore your sexual self. And you deserve it. You've repressed your desire for men like me, as well as for the many hot women that have come onto you because you are Prissy. You want to taste the men, you want to taste the women, you want to dominate and be dominated.....you want to be entirely Prissy!

I continue to tell you that all you need is the courage to ask....I will do anything, do everything, talk to you the way you need, degrade myself, whatever, to get to the Vegas finals. I will go so far as to present MGG$ to you in your hotel room like a piece of meat to be examined, if necessary.

And you continue to test the waters, telling me exactly how it would go if we were together, what you want, step-by-step from the beginning to the end, telling me what I would need to do, if given this opportunity.

You are only in Phoenix for one night and you must now decide whether to take MGG$ back to the Phoenician, or spend another night masturbating and wondering if your husband, Rex, is really who you think he is. Hoping in some ways that he is not, and being mindful that there have been some odd occurrences over the years. Like the Playgirl magazine you found, his insistence on male masseuses when the two of you visit resort spas, his hints that a strap-on might be fun for the two of you, and the way spittle forms on his lips when he watches the male Olympic diving competition.

Dinner is over. It's showtime now, girl. Is Prissy a player or just an observer?

Sell that ring to heal thy heart

You're young and in love and frolicking like wombats around the vernal equinox and then, suddenly, it just all falls ugly. You and your SO have just arrived at Splitsville and this time, you know it's for real. Now, you've got a pocketful of jewelry, salted with your tears, that you can't bare to wear and they refuse to reclaim it. GULP. Take a week to cry, rant, throw stuff, (but definately not email them) and then sell that metal online, if it'll help you, Phoenix rising. Exboyfriendjewelry.com makes that pain just a teensy bit more tolerable for both boys and girls, wronged in the sport of love.

Stiffen up with Watermelon

I know, I know. The results of one scientific study don't make it fact, but this little gem is just too juicy to ignore. Researchers at Texas A&M University have discovered nutrients in watermelon that have some of the same effects as Viagra. How much watermelon do you have to consume to be a new local legend? That remains unclear but I'd guess switching to watermelon-tini's will make you lose Romeo-points, not gain them, at the bar. Vodka-spiked watermelon slices may be the more manly option. *wink* You can read more about the study here.

Eating to reveal her beauty

It's baaaack! Eating sushi off of a beautiful body. It was a brief dining phenomenon in trend-hungry circles in the states a few years back and then it just as quickly faded from the common consciousness. Well, it's back in West Hollywood, CA and fun for both girls and boys. Hadaka Sushi offers nyotamouri (body sushi) either at their restaurant or in the privacy of your own home. Expensive - yes. Prices start just above $1000 and quickly blossom when drinks, desserts and appetizers are added. Brilliant idea though and I'm glad it's resurfaced. You come for the sushi and keep eating for the view. Sexy and delicious. Douzo meshiagare!

Let's test the mattress!

Most hotel guests get a better night's sleep if they don't start wondering about the people that have stayed in the room before them. Other visitors shamelessly post evidence of their hotel room antics on the net. Nope, it's not what you think. It's bed-jumping! Click here for pics.

Is that Oscar I smell?

Film industry trendsetters - take note. I know that adolescent hi-jinks are guaranteed a chuckle from some members of the movie-going audience. I'm thinking specifically of the apparently obligatory "jewel crush" scene, paraded once (if not more) through almost every adolescent-centric comedy. A man brought to his knees from a swift slam to the family jewels. A fall on a fence post, a punch from a toddler, a slide down a banister - pick your poison. It's a quickly-forgotten snicker. A cheap, uncomfortable laugh. The scenes are virtually ubiquitous in some film comedies and I understand that.

But what I propose is the following.

Why don't you, titans of the film industry, work together to make another type of scene just as ubiquitous and obligatory in future films, for those among us who don't giggle at crotch-crushing? Something a little racier, a little sexier, a bit dangerous, pulse-quickening and, quite frankly, one of my secret fetishes! I'm speaking of ......... women in fountains. YAY! Now, I'm not referring to the G-rated jig as seen in the opening credits of the 90's TV sit-com "Friends." I'm more interested in slow-motion, screaming-sex exhibitionism, best exemplified by Sherilyn Fenn in her party seduction scene from the 1993 dark obsession film "Boxing Helena."



Original Fountain Song (Boxing Helena)
Uploaded by Meowbay

What a saucy temptress. Mmmmrroooooooowwwwwww!

So I'm publicly appealing to the Hollywood, Bollywood, and Any-other-wood elite to please bombard the movie-eating public with more scenes of women in fountains. I promise you - we can handle it or, gosh darn, we'll do our best trying! We're up for THAT struggle! So, please overwhelm us ........ so much so, that one day in the future, we just might lament to our friends, "Yup, there's yet another sultry, must-see film with the obligatory woman-in-a-fountain scene. Sigh - I miss the simple j-crush......."

Earth's Largest Instrument

David Byrne, ex-frontman of the Talking Heads, has rigged up the landmark Battery Maritime building in NYC and transformed it into the world's largest instrument, played with a keyboard. Fantastic! Among other things, wires and pipes run from the back of the keyboard to different parts of the building, causing parts of the infrastructure to creak, moan, rumble, howl and more. I've heard a bit of the results and I'd liken it to the spooky sounds of monsters in a basement dungeon. Not for everyone of course, but Byrne obviously continues to produce innovative sound projects. Best of all, you can play the keyboard and participate in this noisy adventure yourself! Closes Aug 10, 2008. You can read more here.

Simmons on Girls for Hire

Gene Simmons, of KISS fame, has an upcoming book entitled "Ladies of the Night: A Historical and Personal Perspective on the Oldest Profession in the World." Co-written with Julie McCarron, the book begins "back in the day" with cave culture (Babe, why don't you hunt for that wooly mammoth this morning and I will ROCK your world tonight) and progresses all the way to where we find ourselves today. I just might pick up a copy, if only to better understand how the public's perception of the dance has changed over the millenia. Credit goes to Simmons for approaching the topic as a matter of self-empowerment for women. You can read an interview with Gene about the book here and pre-order the book via Amazon. Release date: July 7, 2008.

Doll parts

Plastic baby doll centipedes. Down right spooky! This toddlerpede comes from the deliciously deviant mind of artist Jon Beinart. You can read more about the artist here. I especially like the worn-out, greying head. Frankly, I'd look a bit angry too if I had 34 arms.

Dinner on a Crane

While some are feeding at the newest have-to-be-seen-there supper club, others are choosing to dine while dangling from a crane, and paying quite a high pence for the experience. It brings new weight to the phrase "Oooopps, I dropped my fork" and the all-too-common "I need to use the little girls' room" because that entire table is heading back down to earth, if you can't hold it any longer. http://www.dinnerinthesky.com/

A Billboard for the Panty Peekers

If you love to see something you probably shouldn't, especially when it involves a woman's silky lingerie, then this billboard is for you! With a particularly strong gust, her skirt flies up and you can sneak a peek. Rapturous joy - panty lover! :)

Surfing in the City

There's a surf spot in Munich. Who knew? It's a particular point in a man-made wash where the water flows up to create surfable waves. It's similar to those small current pools people swim in or a wave pool, except it happens naturally. One surfer at a time and I bet that water's FREEZING! You can read more about it here.

Silent Disco

A roomful of writhing, beautiful people and you can still whisper sweet nothings into your night's latest hottie. I LOVE IT! Silent Disco is a club concept where every dancer wears wireless headphones to hear music. Take the headphones off and you see a roomful of people wiggling, breathing hard and not caring about how they look. Wow!