Tuesday, March 12, 2013

The Ever-Elusive Hair Fetishist

I was waiting to meet a friend outside Divebar in Newport Beach. The phone rings.

Paloma: Hello?

Hair Fetishist: Good afternoon. Is this Paloma?

Paloma: Yes. How may I help you?

Hair Fetishist: Do you have blond hair?

Paloma: Yes

Hair Fetishist: Is it long and flowing down your back?

Paloma: Yes - why are you asking questions about my hair?

Hair Fetishist: Do you cater to fetishes?

Paloma: What did you have in mind?

Hair Fetishist: I have a hair fetish.

My eyes grew wide. I gasped. I hope he didn't notice. Could it be? Was this the mythical, enigmatic creature whispered about in certain socially-adventurous circles?
"I have a hair fetish." His calm, matter-of-fact admission was both shocking and wondrous to me. As fantastical as a Yeti sauntering across PCH or an ostrich suddenly plopping down on the hood of my car. Really, really out there! Not necessarily because I found it too strange or unsavory - just really RARE. A very, very rare experience for me - quite literally once in a lifetime. And coming from a girl who likes to collect rare experiences and memories, that is saying something! I mean foot fetishists are common but still typically closeted, and plushies are the fetish group currently enduring examination/teasing in pop culture, but a hair fetishist? Honestly, I'm still kinda reeling from it. wow

And I suddenly had a thousand questions for him - None of which I could utter as that would be exceedingly impolite.

How old were you when you first became interested in hair?
What hair color and styles turn you on?
Do you frequent online hair fetish forums?
If so - which ones? (I wanna read!)
Does length matter? hehe
What kind of porn do you like?

And I suppose the grandaddy of all my questions would be *GULP* What exactly do you like to do with hair?

And more and more questions I had. And just as quickly as we spoke, he was gone. The phone line went dead. He exited from my world less than a minute after arriving in it. Because it turns out he was even rarer than I thought. Not only was he of the very rare species of fetishists - but he was in the sub-category of call masturbators. A stroke-on-the-phone hair fetishist. And that, my friends, is a very, very rare and elusive bird indeed ....